"You know how it's scary to voice out you're happy or okay because the instant that the words come out of your mouth, something's bound to happen that would negate the joy you're feeling. And it would be better to pretend that you feel nothing so life won't get to you," Rain said in her text message for me one time that she was in one of her solitary bouts of 'what ifs'. Only this time, Happiness isn't an 'if' anymore but rather an 'is' in actuality. And she doesn't know how to handle this Happiness.
I imagined her, with furrowed brows in an irritable expression that can't make up its mind whether it would smile or frown. Her eyes creeping with worry and sadness that she oftentimes wears like religious tattoos . And her arms crossed in a defensive stance, as if the way she's feeling now is an attack of her person.
I, with thoughts fueled by my bilious cup of coffee, could very well understand how she's feeling because I was very much like her during my Pre-Schroo era.
"It is certainly hard handling something you're not used to," I murmured to myself, then wincing when I felt my stomach groan in acidic churning from the strong coffee I just imbibed. In front of a good brew, sometimes I just forget that my ulcer prohibits me to appreciate coffee in its splendid bitterness.
"However, there are things that one just need getting used to,"I said out aloud, while I was pouring an ample amount of milk and a bit of sugar to my refreshed cup, "and one of those is sweetened coffee."
And of course, I texted the other thing to Rain.
"Dearest, I was like that before. And now, I'm going to give you an advice that my own Schroo told me when I confided to him about my worries. He said, 'Don't think. Just be.' And you know what, honey? I've been and still continue to being."
Currently listening to: How's it Going to Be